Oh goodness, you’re probably asking yourself, “what did we do to deserve the punishment of this guy blogging again?!” Let me answer that for you: you took a breath of air just now. Don’t fight it. It happens. Just push through.
In all seriousness (which seems to be a pretty common phrase in my blog), it has been a loooooooooong time. Too long. My regular (or formerly so) readers know that this blog is really just my place to vent. My way of not walking through the streets and knocking off people’s hats if you will (allusion to…..anyone?).
Last night I was on CQ (Charge of Quarters) so I had some time to think. In conjunction with some events that took place during that time, as well as in the recent past, my emotional river was flowing quite well. I hopped on my boat in said river and took the ride. We docked here at the blog about 3 minutes ago, where I met you guys. Welcome to my very bland mental dock on the emotional river. If only there were more boats that you could use to escape.
It’s been about 3 months since my girlfriend of about 3 months broke up with me. The wounds are still healing, mostly because despite my exterior mantra that I hate everyone equally, I love all you crazy kids and I become very easily attached. It’s tough to overcome the sudden breaking of one of those bonds. I’ve been on a couple dates, but nothing really sticks. I’m working on it.
Next emotional speed bump is that my youngest sister (younger than the other by 5 minutes, still counts) got engaged last night. Your gut reaction of course is “yay” which I wish I could jump in with you and say. Reasons I’m concerned. They have been dating about 3 and a half months. What happened to my 3 month relationship? Exactly. They are getting married two months from now. Less than six months together and married? Sounds like a recipe for an “oh crap” moment to me. Do I want her to be happy? Of course I do. My perspective may be a little different that a standard brother.
We grew up without a dad at home. I’m not crying about it, it happens, we’ve gotten through it, it’s done. That situation has turned me into someone who feels absolutely responsible for what happens to my family though. A father/brother hybrid. I’ve met her fiance twice, for a combined time of about 10 minutes. He has made no attempt to change that before asking her to marry him. This tells me one of two things, possible a little of both. A) He doesn’t understand the way our family has adapted to be as strong as we are in regards to the lack of a father figure, or B) my sister doesn’t understand the fact that I feel responsible for her.
I wrote her a long letter last night which I need to mail soon… In it I mostly laid out the same things I’ve said here. I just can’t understand the rush, or the complete disregard for any of the points that anyone has brought up. Ugh, I’m exhausted.
Michael
