People

It occurs to me that as much as I like to think that I don’t trust people, I’m disgustingly trusting.

Time and time again, I overestimate the connections that I have with people.  Probably a result of the great family I was raised in and great family friends over the years who provided a great example of good people.  As I look at the world though, I see a lot of screwed up people.

There is of course a trade off in this situation.  If you are more cautious of people, you can inadvertently miss out on good opportunities.  On the other hand, being too trusting can get you hurt.

I want to be the realist that I profess to be.  In the same way that being the “nice guy” seems to do wonders (please note the sarcasm) for my current relationship prospects, that nice guy status has not had a great effect recently.

In other news, I can’t shake this desire to be in Afghanistan with my unit rather than here….  I don’t know that desire is really the word.  I’m sure they’d think I was nuts if I said I wanted to be there, but still.  I feel like I almost stepped out on them by coming here, even though I’ve been gone over a year.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.  Anyone who reads these things regularly knows that most of the time I just write for the sake of writing.

Michael

A Farewell of Sorts

I guess I just want to take a few moments to say goodbye to someone in my own way.  SPC Clay Rance.

I did my Advanced Individual Training for the Army in Redstone Arsenal, AL.  It was a long course, so we all got to know the other guys there pretty well.  I found out a couple weeks ago that one of the guys I knew there was in a coma and was most likely not going to make it.  Yesterday I found out that he passed away on the 21st of May.

Being in the active Army, maybe you get more used to losing people that you know over time, but this is really the first person that I’ve known so well that I’ve had to see them go.

From what I understand, he went home on leave, had a seizure and went into a coma for a couple weeks before he passed.  I don’t think anything can really prepare you for hearing that someone so young has died.

When I was at my unit, a guy in our battalion was involved in a fatal accident in the motor pool.  I didn’t know him personally, but he had done his AIT at the same base as me, and had even been there for part of it while I was there.  Hearing the final roll call, the playing of Taps and the 21-gun salute at that Memorial Service was perhaps the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve experienced.  I can only imagine Rance’s funeral services with military honors were just as powerful.

Any of my usual readers probably have figured out that this blog is just my way of venting what’s on my mind.  And this has been weighing on my mind since I first learned what was going on.

Rest in Peace Rance.

Michael

I am ashamed

I haven’t blogged in quite a while now.

Things have been busy here, but mostly I just didn’t have anything important to say.  I’m still here at the academy, currently in “summer school” for gymnastics, which I failed this semester.  It’s going a lot better.  I’ve already got almost as many points as I had at the end of my first attempt at the class.

Some fairly important stuff in the news today.

First, Iran sent 6 warships into international waters.  Lovely.   I’m thinking that we should probably do something about Iran, but that’s just me.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,521730,00.html

Next, North Korea tested more missiles.  I’m loving all these crazy dictators we have running around with substantial amounts of weaponry…and quite possibly nuclear ones.  I don’t see how the US and the UN giving them a slap on the wrist and saying, “bad” is going to solve the issue.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,521730,00.html

And my final note (not that there isn’t a lot of other craziness going on right now) is that the California Supreme Court, which I actually once had the opportunity to witness in session, has ruled that the Proposition 8 ban on gay marriage in the state is constitutional and will remain.  As much as this follows my own personal beliefs, I’m fairly concerned about the backlash that will come out of this.  If you read back in some of my blogs, you’ll see the response, specifically against the LDS (Mormon) church while all this was going down initially.  I doubt we’ve seen the last of this.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/05/26/california-high-court-rule-gay-marriage/?test=latestnews

On the personal front, once I finish my class here on 5 June, I’ll head home until the 17th.  Then I’ve got Cadet Field Training in the fabulous Camp Bucker (A.K.A. Bucknam, Buckraq, Buckghanistan, Buckmalia, etc.) for 4 weeks.  Then I’ll finish out the summer with Advanced Medical Training here in the <sarcasm> ever beautiful </sarcasm> West Point.

That’s enough out of me for today.  You stay classy…all three of you reading this.

Michael

It’s only Wednesday? Crap….

This week is going WAY too slow.

I was thinking the other day as I was walking back to my room after a class, before I got here, I didn’t even know what this place looked like.  It occurs to me that I had no information whatsoever about what I was getting myself into.  This was a bad idea.  I’m not saying that I want to leave.  I do however encourage my noble readers to thoroughly investigate important life decisions.

This leads to my pondering for this post.  During psychology the other day, I got to thinking about what I’m being trained to do.  When I graduate, I’m going to lead soldiers.  I’ll have a platoon of people that I am responsible for, and later a company of them.  Every so often that really sinks in for me.  It’s not that I forget about it the rest of the time.  Some days are just more thought provoking.  One thing that scares me a little is that I’m not sure that a lot of people here really think about that fact.  To some people at the academy, it seems like this is just school, and that after this they are going to get a job just like any other college student.  But we aren’t just any other college student.  I can’t help but be amazed at the culpability I will have in my job.

Some of us will be leading men in combat, others working in the rear to keep things maintained.  Regardless, we will be responsible for the lives of our troops.  When I was in Germany, in a sustainment and support battalion in garrison, a soldier in another company died in the motor pool from an accident.  How does his PL feel after that?  His CO?  Do they feel responsible?  Like they failed him?  I have to think that I would feel that way, even if there was nothing they could really have done.  And that’s just in a garrison environment; what about in combat?

I don’t really mean to be so somber, it’s just been on my mind with my old unit getting ready to head over.  Some days when things are just stupid, I wish I was going with them, doing something useful, instead of sitting here picking up people’s trash and delivering their laundry.

Michael

3 AM on Saturday at the Point

What else is there to do but write a blog?  We have SAMI (Saturnday Morning Inspection) today.  Essentially, our rooms must be so spotless that not even a speck of dust can be found.  Callahan (my roommate) and I have been cleaning all day and are finally wrapping it up.  Our room looks really good, so I’m not too worried.

We also have an in-ranks uniform inspection, so we shined our shoes as well.  I occasionally use edge dressing on mine for inspections, and Callahan uses a simpler “edge dressing” type substance with a foam applicator for easy use and reduced accidents.  Anyone who has used real edge dressing knows that it stains really easily and when you are putting it on, the bottle sits there open.

Well, tonight, Callahan decided he wanted to use REAL edge dressing for his shoes.  Within 30 seconds, I hear “uh oh” come from the sink.  I didn’t really think anything until I heard “there is edge dressing all over the sink.”  I at first thought he was joking, but when I looked I saw that he had spilled some in the sink.  I quickly turned the water on and scrubbed it.  Luckily we got it all off right away.  He is now definitely not allowed to use the “big boy” edge dressing ever though.  I figure it isn’t allowed here for a reason, but I’m going to use it anyway.

I had a few other thoughts today, one of which involves Presidential/Congressional approval ratings.  I was on foxnews.com today reading an article and saw the polls on the side of the page.  Here is what I saw:

President Obama Job Approval

RCP Average: +30.0%	Details
Approve	60.8%
Disapprove	30.8%

Congressional Job Approval

RCP Average: -17.5%	Details
Approve	36.5%
Disapprove	54.0%

This was kind of funny to me.  Congress has been controlled by the Democratic party for a few years now, so, we are apparently displeased with them.  So, what do we do?  Elect a Democrat as President!  Yeah!

I also tried to moonwalk earlier and ran into a closet door and stepped on our metal dust pan.  I’m tired.

Michael

Time for some brain vomit

I’ve been a little busy I guess.  I have had plenty of things that I could have ranted about, just haven’t taken the time since I had other obligations.

First item for today’s discussion, Spring Break.  It was great, I loved it, it sucks to be back.

Moving on.  West Point is no longer using the black parkas that we have previously worn in cold temperatures with our class uniform.  We just received the news by email today, and it’s supposed to be rather chilly tomorrow.  Why are they getting rid of them?

“The reason for this is that Black Parka does not portray the military appearance that we want at West Point.”

Granted, I agree with this a little bit.  It’s a freaking parka.  Of course, my solution is to wear ACU’s and Gortex jackets all the time instead.  On that note, ACU’s will only be worn when absolutely necessary.  They will no longer be used as a reward.  So…in order to look more military-like, we are taking away parkas so we can freeze AND ACU’s so that we look…more…soldiery…perfect sense.

Was getting ready to sign and mail my state tax return today.  Luckily, I realized that there was something wrong with me not getting any money back since I was having money withheld all year.  I decided to talk about it with my accountant, and in the end, it turns out I am getting an additional $600 from Federal and $500 from State.

Sometimes…I don’t know what I’m doing with myself.  I don’t really want to go into on my blog, just that I’m in one of my moods lately.  Nothing big though.

Michael

My Thoughts on the Current Discussion

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/29/AR2009012904135.html?hpid=topnews

Well, we knew it would happen eventually.  After reading some of the comments on this article, I’m not sure which worries me more, the content and subject of the article, or the American people’s take on the situation.

From my perspective, this has very little to do with military service and combat in our future.  I saw one comment that since people come to the academy before they are 25, they are not old enough to make a fully informed decision.  Pardon my language, but that’s bull shit.  Insurance companies use that to charge more for teenage drivers.  I’m almost 20 years old.  I know exactly what I signed up for.  I knew exactly what I was volunteering for when I enlisted at 18.  I knew that I would likely deploy within 30 days of arriving at my first duty station.  I know now that after my 4 years at the academy, I will be leading men in combat.  Their lives will be my responsibility.  I accepted those risks and costs knowing full well what they meant.

Why are the suicide rates increasing?  My generation has major issues.  I’ll be honest.  I think we have been so coddled over the years that many of us don’t really know what is going on.  I like to think that West Point is the cream of the crop, but deep down I know we have the same problems.  Most of our parents have given us everything we ever needed and more. Many of us never learned to appreciate the value of things.  The value of work.

I was raised by my mother and grandmother.  Living with my grandmother who was alive during the depression, I think I had an advantage.  I was taught the importance of everything in life.  Maybe a lot of my fellow cadets missed that in their upbringing.  I know one thing, many of them are simply not prepared for the military life the way it is.

I don’t really know how to say it, but looking at the people I served with on the enlisted side, and the cadets I see here, many of them didn’t expect what they ended up with.  I’ll admit, we do some retarded stuff here.  Delivering laundry to upperclassmen?  What is that about?  Cleaning rooms that I’m not even allowed to use?  A lot of these kids probably weren’t even really responsible for keeping their own rooms clean growing up.  I had an easy life, I admit that.  When I enlisted though, I learned real fast that the free ride was over.  I adapted, I overcame.

Maybe the problem is that my classmates and other fellow cadets simply are not ready to move on into their new life and give up the high school mentality.

Michael

In the choice between suicide and West Point…

I choose this icy prison.

I just don’t understand it.  Another cadet has attempted to take his life.  How do they even get to that point?  Especially the ones who have no obligation if they decide to leave.  I guess it’s a little different with priors.  If we leave, we go back to the Army.  But most of these guys, if they decide, “Hey, I just don’t think it’s for me,” they can just walk away and be no worse for the wear.  Until Cow year that is.  But even then, how is enlistment that bad an option?

As bad as this place seems sometimes and as much as I say that I don’t like it, I can’t ever imagine it getting to the point that I would choose death.

Anyway, that’s the thought for tonight.

Michael

Hooah: More Than Just a Word

As I pondered my life today, I realized how much I say hooah.  It’s gone far beyond the brainwashing I received in Basic Training though.  “Hooah” has become a part of me, of my very soul.  Why?

Think about your normal conversations.  You know those moments where you don’t really know what to say, but you know that you should say something?  You try and think of something completely ambiguous that won’t get you into trouble, especially if you aren’t really sure what the heck is going on.  Those are the times that hooah has become the perfect tool for.

I remember doing IED training in AIT with the EOD instructors.  They always told us that they hated the word hooah because it didn’t tell them anything.  It could mean anything.  How very true, even if their stance on its use goes against everything I hold dear.

I once heard something about how the F word could be used as any part of speech.  I find the same is true of hooah.  Observe:

1. adjective A word or combination of words that modifies a noun.  As in: “That’s a really hooah ruck sack you’ve got there.”
2. adverb A word that modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb.  As in: “That guy appears to be running fairly hooah-ly.”
3. interjection A word, phrase, or sound used as an exclamation and capable of standing by itself.  As in: “Hooah.”
4. noun A word or phrase that names a person, place, thing, quality, or act.  As in: “I need some hooah in my life….”
5. verb A word or phrase that expresses action, existence, or occurrence.  As in: “I’m going to hooah the &%#$ out of that that Ranger Wall in just a few seconds.”

Clearly, the diveristy of “hooah” is immense.  However, as this diversity developed, I think we lost sight of what hooah began as.  It was an idea.  A principle.  An exclamation of power and belief.  Belief in the American ideal.  An ideal I feel die a little bit each time I hear an almost moaning hooah from new cadets or young privates.  It is a terse, quick, yet strong expression.

Hooah.  More than just a word.

Michael

This Place is Still Weird…

So, I’m still not entirely comfortable with how many officers I encounter on a daily basis.  Seriously, if you are looking for the highest concentration of commissioned officers on any military post in the Army, this would easily win.  And it’s not like they are O-1’s and O-2’s either.  We’re talking Majors, Colonels, Generals, just meandering through the halls.

On a normal day in the active Army, if you see anything higher than your CO, someone messed up.  Heck, I saw my PL like 4 times the whole time I was at my unit.  Here I see a full bird Colonel daily and a couple Generals at the very least monthly, though I’m still convinced that the Supe never really is anywhere, it’s all clones and mirrors.

I guess it just makes for a really weird dynamic.  Does it make cadets too comfortable with superiors?  From observing some Firsties, maybe.

Someone in my chemistry class told me he actually reads these things and enjoys them.  I was surprised.  So more than anything, this blog is for you.

Michael